


Promise

by sebastiel



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, Fix-It, M/M, basically I finished s8 and said 'nah this ain't it chief' and wrote what should've happened, say goodbye to adam dreamworks he's my character now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-09-29 15:19:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17205848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sebastiel/pseuds/sebastiel
Summary: “I’ll come back to you.” He says it firmly, resolutely, with a certainty he doesn’t have. He knows it’s futile, Adam always able to see right through him, but he has to try, has to do what he can in these final moments. “I promise you, Adam. I will.”





	1. Pain

**Author's Note:**

> if dreamworks won't give adashi the story it deserves, I'll do it myself
> 
> I dedicate this to mal, my #1 supporter, and rosa, who let me go on an adashi rant and inspired this fic
> 
> y'all can find me on tumblr @shiroswife !!

“You shouldn’t have to go.”

The words are quiet but cold, sharp, quickly extinguishing the warm flame of laughter that had filled the room a moment before. Their bedroom is still for a moment, silence lingering, Shiro wondering if Adam had really spoken at all, until Adam turns from his spot at his desk and looks straight at him, fingers wrapped tight around the pen in his hand. His eyes are cold, hard, tired, but there’s pain there too, sadness, sending a searing pang straight through Shiro’s chest sharp enough to make him wince.

Matt shifts awkwardly on the bed beside Shiro, the rustling of fabric and creaking of wood soft but enough to break the silence, and Shiro lightly clears his throat to break it more.

“Adam, we’ve-...we’ve talked about this.” He licks his lips, buying himself another moment, mind racing to pick out the right words, the perfect ones that will diffuse the situation at the start. He keeps his voice gentle, reasonable. “No one’s making me do anything. I asked to go, I  _ want _ to-”

He chose wrong.

“Well, you shouldn’t!” There’s thinly veiled rage in Adam’s voice now, but Shiro hears the desperation there too, the fear, making his chest squeeze impossibly tighter, making it hard to breathe. Adam looks to Matt, suddenly, who keeps his head down, focusing on a loose string on the comforter, his shoulders tense. “And you shouldn’t either, Matt! There’s plenty of people at the Garrison who would be more than happy to go.”

Matt says nothing in return, keeping his eyes down, but the muscles in his shoulders knot tighter, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows thickly. Shiro just barely manages to suppress a weary sigh, though Adam quickly looks back to him as if he hadn’t, anger flaring behind his eyes.

“Adam, the mission is only three days away.” He masks his own frustration behind his calm, gentle tone, trying to relieve the tension saturating the room, heavy and smothering the three of them. It doesn’t work, Adam’s jaw clenching tighter. “We’ve been training for this for months. It has to be us.”

Adam scoffs loudly, turning away and throwing his pen down onto the stack of papers he’d been grading as he leans back in his seat, the back of the chair squeaking at the strain. Shiro uses this moment to look to Matt, wanting to offer a silent apology on his and Adam’s behalf, but Matt still refuses to look at either of them, resolved in staying neutral in the whole ordeal. For a moment, Shiro feels a small surge of frustration towards Matt as well, a hint of betrayal fueling the flame, but he shoves those feelings aside as quickly as they came. He knows Matt’s not the one at fault here.

Silence fills the room again, until Shiro breaks it with a sigh he doesn’t bother to suppress this time, looking to Adam. He feels so tired. “Adam, please, try to understand-”

They’re the wrong words. Shiro can’t seem to find the right ones anymore. 

Adam shoves away from his desk, the back of it crashing against the wall, the collision deafening in the tense quietness and making both Shiro and Matt jump. Adam stands and looks to Shiro with a look that borders on hatred, Shiro’s blood running cold at the sight, his heart dropping to the pit of his stomach. “I don’t think I  _ can _ understand you anymore, Shiro,” he says, the nickname sounding foreign coming from him after all these years, stabbing Shiro in the chest and twisting. The pain in Adam’s eyes mirrors his own as they stare each other down, silently pleading for the other to yield, though they both know that neither will. 

Adam breaks first after a long moment, turning away with another scoff, snatching his jacket off the back of his chair and heading for the door. A part of Shiro desperately wants to follow, to do everything he can to ease the pain he planted in Adam’s chest the moment he told him about Kerberos, the pain he continues to watch bloom and spread and wrap around his fiancé’s heart like vines, thorns stabbing and bleeding him dry. He stays, though, as the door clicks shut behind Adam, chest aching so badly he can feel it to the tips of his fingers as he looks to Matt, who looks back at him finally with a look of pity so profound Shiro could almost laugh. 

He buries the shards of his broken heart as deep as he can as he offers Matt a small reassuring smile. “I’m okay,” he lies, giving Matt’s shoulder a firm squeeze. “I’m sorry you keep getting dragged into the middle of this. I know it must be awkward for you, being friends with the both of us.”

“It’s okay,” Matt assures him, also clearly lying, and Shiro does huff out a laugh this time, wondering why the three of them seem to think they can hide anything from the other at this point.

“He’ll come around,” Shiro says, and he prays it’s not another lie. 


	2. Launch

“Adam, please, look at me…”

His voice is soft, tired, sad, pleading, but Adam remains unmoved from where he sits on their couch, gaze boring holes into their coffee table as he mindlessly fiddles with his engagement ring. Shiro wonders if he’ll still wear it while he’s gone, a thought that has his chest feeling like it’s caving in. 

Shiro closes his eyes for a moment and sighs through his nose, his shoulders slumping as he glances at the clock that hangs above their dining table. He was supposed to leave for the launch fifteen minutes ago, but he refuses to take a step out the door with things as they are. This is more important. Adam is more important, always. 

He lets his bag fall to the floor, feeling much too heavy at the moment despite being packed light, and closes the distance between them, the only sounds in the room the clock insistently ticking on the wall and the soft rustling of fabric as Shiro moves to take a seat on the edge of the table in front of Adam. 

“My love, please,” he begs, a hint of desperation in his tone now as he ducks down slightly to try and catch his eye, and Adam finally reacts, his eyes falling shut and his fingers stilling around his ring as he pauses, takes a breath, and looks up. There’s bags under his eyes, weighed down by sadness and worry, making Shiro’s heart ache at the thought that he put them there, but he keeps a brave face as he offers a small smile, reaching out for Adam’s hand, their rings twinkling together under the light. Shiro takes it as a miracle that Adam doesn’t pull away from the contact.

“I’ll come back to you.” He says it firmly, resolutely, with a certainty he doesn’t have. He knows it’s futile, Adam always able to see right through him, but he has to try, has to do what he can in these final moments. “I promise you, Adam. I will.”

Adam laughs, but it’s small, choked by pain, the sound tearing Shiro apart. “That’s not a promise you can make, Takashi,” he says, shaking his head, and though he tries to stay steady, strong, his voice betrays him as it wobbles. 

Shiro grips his hand harder while his free hand reaches up to cup his face gingerly, as if afraid to break him, but Adam breaks anyways, his composure slipping as his brow furrows at the touch, tears welling up in his eyes. Shiro can’t help but break, too, wondering how the pain doesn’t shatter them both to pieces, falling like shards of glass onto the living room floor, but he keeps his brave face, continues to softly smile as much as it pains him to do so, always staying strong. He owes Adam that. He doesn’t deserve to make Adam watch him break.

“I’m making it anyways. I will,” he assures him, thumb brushing over Adam’s cheek, catching a traitorous tear that broke free. “You’re the love of my life, Adam. I’m coming back to you and we’re spending our lives together just like I promised.” His other thumb brushes over Adam’s ring as he speaks. The corners of Shiro’s eyes burn, the hard lump in his throat threatening to break his composure, but he powers on, fights to remain steady. “I love you more than anything, I know you know that.”

Adam fights as well. Shiro can see it, can feel it in the way Adam desperately grips his hand in return, but it’s a losing battle, tears silently streaming down his face in victory, speckled across the lenses of his wire rimmed frames from his eyelashes. Shiro’s phone buzzes in his pocket, most likely Matt asking where he is, Shiro never one to be late for anything, but Shiro couldn’t care less, wouldn’t cut this moment short for anything.

He stays with Adam as long as he needs, a solid presence beside him, thumbs stroking soothingly over his skin, pouring every ounce of love he can manage into his touch in hopes of easing some of the pain he’s caused, ignoring the way his own pain rips him apart from the inside.

“Make sure Matt doesn’t do anything stupid out there, alright?” Adam’s voice is still choked even after a few long moments of silence, his free hand coming up to nudge his glasses out of the way and wipe at his eyes, and Shiro is hit in the chest with a wave of love and affection so powerful it almost winds him. He nearly breaks, then, his small laugh coming out more choked than he would like, and he nods, eyes watering.

“Of course.” His smile is genuine, for a moment- of course Adam can find a way to make him smile even when he so badly wants to cry- but it fades as his phone buzzes yet again, a deafening reminder despite the quiet sound.

They’re out of time, but Shiro’s always been selfish when it comes to Adam. He can’t help but steal an extra moment as he leans forward to kiss him softly, pouring everything left unsaid into it, all those perfect words he can never seem to find, all the apologies there’s no longer time for.

He lingers, heart squeezing tight as Adam melts, and it takes every ounce of Shiro’s willpower to break away.

“I love you.” The confession is soft and gentle but firm, resolute, just like the first time Shiro said it all those years ago under the stars they both so fiercely reached for, the stars they sought to explore together. He holds onto the memory tightly, his eyes closed as he cradles Adam’s cheek in his palm.

“I know.” Shiro can’t help but smile at that, until for just a moment, his composure falls and he breaks, smile too heavy to keep up as a tear manages to break free, slipping down his cheek and onto their clasped hands.

He presses one last kiss to Adam’s lips, and stands.


	3. Loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank not only god but also jesus to tumblr user @castledefences for the arm inspo (https://castledefences.tumblr.com/post/177294915550/o)
> 
> allura honey I love you but that arm design...............tragic

“The Galaxy Garrison mission to the distant moon of Kerberos is missing, and all crew members are believed to be dead. The Galaxy Garrison has said the crash was presumably caused by pilot error-”

The room goes silent as the tv goes dark, Adam’s stomach churning as his hands shake, feeling too much and yet somehow nothing at all.

His ring suddenly feels so heavy, so cold.

* * *

 

Shiro raps his knuckles gently against the doorway, the sound of metal clanging on metal echoing softly through the room. “Commander?”

Iverson looks up from his paperwork and raises his brows. “Officer Shirogane. I see your operation went well.” He nods to Shiro’s right arm and smirks as he takes in the glowing blue and gold ornamentations. “Fancy. Altean tech?”

Shiro huffs out a soft laugh and follows Iverson’s line of sight, flexing his fist. “Yes, sir. This arm is a much better fit than my Galra one, for sure.”

Iverson frowns at that, but doesn’t ask for an elaboration, leaning back in his seat and folding his hands over his stomach. “So, what can I do for you?”

Shiro’s smile quickly fades, his stomach knotting with dread once again at the question that’s been haunting him since he returned to Earth. He licks his lips and swallows thickly, continuing to look down at his arm for another beat before looking back to Iverson. “Ad- Officer Wardak. Did he transfer to a different facility?”

He instantly has his answer.

Iverson’s expression becomes grave, his eyes dropping and his shoulders falling in a way that’s so foreign on him, but Shiro refuses to jump to conclusions, continues to stare Iverson down as he waits for him to speak, the small flame of hope in his chest stubbornly flickering even as his pounding heart tries to snuff it out.

He doesn’t know how much time passes before Iverson finally shifts, sitting up in his seat and moving his folded hands to the tabletop. He sighs deeply and looks to Shiro, who stubbornly ignores the guilt and pity in his eye. “When the Galra invaded, Officer Wardak was one of the first out on the frontlines to defend the planet. He and the others fought with everything they had, but...it was a battle we couldn’t win.”

Shiro’s heart stops as the flame is finally extinguished, leaving a cold emptiness in its wake, the smoke swirling up to his throat and choking him.

The chain he wears around his neck- a ring hanging at the end of it, the remnant of a promise long past but never forgotten- suddenly feels cold, too.


	4. Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> adam design credit goes to my FAVORITE artist geckostuffs (http://geckostuffs.tumblr.com/post/177124884547/got-inspiration-from-just-themys-fanarts-and) with my own lil tiny tweak

Heavy footsteps echo loudly as Shiro tears down the Garrison halls, cadets and fellow officers turning to him with confused and concerned calls of “Captain?”, but Shiro doesn’t spare them a glance, can’t hear them over his heart pounding in his ears, too focused on his destination.

His lungs burn by the time he gets to the hospital wing, hands shaking with adrenaline and anxiety and excitement and fear as the door to one of the recovery rooms slides open, heart on the verge of bursting out of his chest as a pair of eyes- one a familiar honey brown and the other milky white, no longer hidden behind wire rimmed frames- turns to him and widens.

“Adam…”

Before Shiro knows it the corners of his eyes are burning, a wave of relief crashing over him so powerfully he nearly drowns in it, struggling to breathe as he takes a step into the room. Somehow his heart is swelling and shattering at the same time as he takes in the scars that reach across Adam’s face and neck, his newly installed prosthetic arm that rests above the sheets, the hardened, exhausted look in his eye-  the look of a man who’s been to hell and back, a look Shiro knows painfully well- but mostly the fact that he’s _alive._  He’s _here_.

Adam’s taking in the sight of him, too, his eye drifting from Shiro’s snowy hair, to his scar, to his prosthetic arm, emotions swirling there too complex for Shiro to decipher.

“We match,” Adam says after what feels like an eternity but can’t be more than a few moments, a wry smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he looks to Shiro for a beat before his eyes drop to the sheets. “Almost.” He tugs at the corner of the fabric to reveal his prosthetic leg, making Shiro’s stomach lurch. Adam’s lost more than he could have imagined.

He takes another step, all those perfect words he’d spent years carefully choosing and rearranging suddenly lost now that he’s here, now that he needs them the most.

“Adam...I’m sorry.” His voice is small but heavy with guilt, the emotion there a compromise for his lack of eloquence.

Adam scoffs out a soft, bitter laugh, covering his leg again, his gaze staying down as he shrugs. “Yeah, well. That’s war for you.”

Shiro shakes his head, his chest painfully tight, his steps hesitant as he moves closer, as if if he moves too quickly Adam will disappear, will be lost to him once again. He has so many questions, so many things left to say, but he can’t get out a single word of it, doesn’t know where to start.

They sit in silence for a moment, until Adam laughs softly again- still a bit bitter, but more genuine than before, the sound making Shiro’s heart skip a beat as it always did.

“I guess you did keep your promise, after all,” Adam says, looking up at him with a hint of a smile, the sight making the corners of Shiro’s eyes burn more fiercely, his heart feeling like it’s going to burst out of his chest. “You came back.”

Shiro nods, the hard lump in his throat blocking any words that try to surface. He so badly wants to close the distance between them, to touch him, to kiss him, to break down in his arms, but he fights to keep his composure, doubtful he has the right to do any of those things anymore. Not after what he’s put him through.

“I’m sorry I took so long,” he finally manages to get out, offering as much of a smile as he can, though his guilt tries to drag it down. If only he’d gotten back sooner. If only Voltron had been there when Earth needed them. If only he’d been there for Adam when he needed him.

Adam’s smile widens by a fraction, the hard edges of his gaze softening, Shiro’s heart overflowing at the subtle change. “You damn well should be. What the hell, Takashi? You’re supposed to be the punctual one,” he teases.

Shiro laughs, or he tries to, but it comes out a choked sob, and before he can patch up the cracks the sound of his name formed in the calm, collected armor he’s forged around himself- reinforced by war and sacrifice- he finds himself crumbling, tears breaking free and sliding down his cheeks as he bites back another sob.

He ducks his head, a futile attempt to hide, to give himself a moment to pull it together, to scramble to pick up the pieces of beaten metal littered across the cold, hard tile of the hospital floor. He has no right to break in front of Adam, who so clearly sits broken in front of him, _because_ of him.

“Takashi…” Adam’s voice is soft, so amazingly soft, the sound of it making Shiro’s chest ache as he feels a pressure in his right hand, and he looks down to find Adam’s hand slipping into his, a soft scraping sound between them as metal brushes against metal. “Look at me.”

He does, trying to swallow down the lump still choking him, but it’s impossible with the gentle way Adam is looking at him, the way he’s a solid presence beside him, strong and steady when Shiro needs him to be, just like he always has.

He doesn’t say anything, because he doesn’t need to, Shiro still able to hear every unspoken word even after all of this time.

“I missed you,” he whispers, squeezing Adam’s hand, longing to feel his skin against his but more than happy to take whatever Adam offers him for now.

Adam smiles, squeezing his hand in return. “I know.”


	5. Growth

“Seriously, Shiro? This is just sad.”

Shiro nearly jumps as he quickly breaks his gaze away from Adam- who stands across the bridge of the Atlas going over battle plans with Veronica- to look to Keith, whose expression is a mix of exasperation and pity.

“Don’t start with that again, Keith,” Shiro sighs, feigning annoyance to mask the embarrassment swirling in his stomach as he looks back to Sam’s blueprints in his hands. He hadn’t even noticed he was staring.

Keith scoffs, and Shiro can practically feel him rolling his eyes. “Shiro, it’s been months. Just talk to him.”

“I don’t have time for this, Keith.” There’s finality in his tone as he continues to stare at the blueprints, though he doesn’t take a word of it in.

“But you have time to stare longingly at your fiancé?” A smirk tugs at Keith’s lips as Shiro shoots him a glare before looking back to the tablet.

“He’s not my-” He pauses, reconsiders, suddenly hyperaware of the weight of the ring he wears around his neck. “This isn’t the place to be talking about this,” he says instead.

“Fine,” Keith says, and Shiro realizes his mistake immediately, eyes widening as he looks to Keith who’s already looking to Kosmo by his side, but before Shiro can protest there’s a flash of light and a tugging sensation behind his navel as he’s teleported to his quarters.

“ _Keith_. This really is not important right now.” His annoyance is genuine, now, but Keith remains unfazed, his arms crossed over his chest as he stares defiantly up at him.

“Yes, it is. You just don’t think so because you never think your feelings are important.”

Shiro’s jaw clenches. He can’t argue with that.

Keith sighs, his gaze softening as his arms drop to his sides. “You think Adam’s feelings are important though, right?”

Shiro blinks at him. “Of course I do.”

“And you’re still in love with him.”

Shiro’s heart squeezes painfully. “Of course I am.” His voice is quiet but certain.

“Then tell him,” Keith says simply, and Shiro huffs out a short laugh, looking away.

“It’s not that simple, Keith,” he says, shaking his head. “I’ve put him through so much, and with this war...the timing wouldn’t be right, anyways.”

“This war is _why_ you have to tell him,” Keith insists, placing his hand on Shiro’s shoulder- Shiro could almost laugh at their switched roles- and waiting for him to look back to him before continuing. “Look, I know you know more than anyone how quickly things can go wrong in a battle. You have to tell him how you feel while you still have the chance. You never know when it could be too late.”

Shiro is brought back, suddenly, to that day in Iverson’s office what feels like decades ago, now; to the news that carved a hole in his chest, that had his world crashing in. He pushes the memory down as quickly as it surfaced as Keith continues. “The both of you have lost so much, but you still have each other after all this time. Despite everything that happened, he’s still here. You two are still together, running the Atlas together. So just tell him.”

Keith smiles softly at him, and Shiro is hit with the realization of how much softer Keith has grown over the years, how much wiser, his heart swelling with pride at the thought. “You deserve good things, Shiro, even if you don’t think you do.”

The words wrap around Shiro’s chest and squeeze tightly, making it hard to breathe, and he laughs a bit breathlessly, shaking his head again. “Since when did you get so mature?” he teases, and Keith scoffs indignantly, rolling his eyes fondly as he shoves lightly at Shiro’s shoulder.

“Fuck off. Someone had to be the adult while you were away, and obviously it couldn’t have been Lance,” Keith huffs, and the both of them laugh, Shiro’s heart feeling lighter for a moment.

He smiles at him fondly. “Well, I’m proud of you,” he says, placing his hand on Keith’s shoulder, now. “But stay out of my love life.”

Keith snorts, smacking his arm away. “Get it together and I will.”


	6. Heaven

The Atlas groans with a hard lurch as it’s hit with another blast, alarms blaring and bouncing off the walls of the bridge.

“Atlas, we’re under some heavy fire out here!” Keith’s voice is barely audible over the noise, the com reception shaky in the chaos.

“We have to do something about that cannon, but it’s got some sort of particle barrier around it!” Lance chimes in, before letting out a shout along with the other paladins as Voltron is hit by another beam.

Shiro’s heart pounds in his chest, teeth clenched tightly as his mind races, trying to think clearly in the cacophony, focused on the cannon on the Galra base below them. An idea clicks and he opens the com line. “Just hold on for a little longer, paladins,” he shouts over the Atlas’ alarms, before looking to Veronica. “Keep trying to give them some cover and send out the MFE pilots for support. I’m going down to see if I can deal with that cannon.” He turns and quickly starts to head towards the bridge door. “Adam, you’re in command until I get back.”

“No.”

Shiro stops in his tracks, looking to Adam in surprise, who stares defiantly back, standing from his seat. 

There’s a beat, an series of explosions sounding in the distance as Voltron continues to fight.

“You’re not going out there alone. I’m coming with you.” Adam’s tone is firm, resolute, practically a command.

Shiro feels a small surge of annoyance, his jaw clenching tighter, but he keeps his voice even, calm. “Adam, I need you to stay here.”

Anger flashes in Adam’s eye, challenging Shiro as he takes a step forward. “No, you  _ want _ me to stay here. You  _ need _ me to come down there with you as backup.”

There’s another explosion, more yells over the com, Shiro’s heart racing faster at the sound. He doesn’t have time for this. “ _ Adam _ .” There’s a quiet plea there, but as always, Adam is stubborn, unwavering, one of Shiro’s favorite and least favorite things about him.

“What, are you scared of me slowing you down? Do you think I can’t fight anymore? We’re supposed to be partners, Takashi.” It’s a calculated strike, an arrow pierced straight through the chest.

They stare each other down for another moment, fear and adrenaline pumping through Shiro’s veins, but he quickly yields, looks to Coran. “Coran, you’re in command.”

“Yes, captain,” Coran says, turning back to his station along with the other officers who had paused to watch, surprised by Adam’s insurgence as well, but Shiro can’t be bothered enough to feel embarrassed, is occupied by the restless need to do  _ something _ to help buzzing under his skin along with the uneasiness swimming in his gut at the thought of Adam in harm’s way.

The bridge door slides open, Shiro’s chest tight with dread.

* * *

 

It all happens so fast, and yet so slow.

It’s Shiro’s fault, of course it is, of course he miscalculated, figured that they’d be able to get back to the escape pod by the time the bomb went off, and it’s not until those last few seconds tick by that he realizes his mistake, his heart plunging to the soles of his feet as the timer goes off. He practically moves on autopilot, lunging for Adam without a second thought, wrapping his arms around him and shielding him as fire angrily tears down the halls of the Galra base, praying it’s enough to keep him safe- please just  _ let him be safe _ .

He awakens what feels like a moment later among rubble and ash, ears ringing loudly, masking the muffled sound of Adam yelling his name, sounding distant, like Shiro’s underwater, sinking farther and farther into the depths, darkness and pressure closing in. The fear in Adam’s voice reels him back, though, dragging him back to the surface, and he blinks his eyes open to find Adam’s face hovering over his- covered in dirt and soot but  _ alive _ , blood dribbling from a cut on his forehead.

A wave of relief crashes over Shiro and he can’t help but smile weakly, reaching up for Adam though his arm feels like lead, his fingers cradling his cheek, the familiar warmth of Adam’s skin- a warmth Shiro hasn’t felt in years- feeling like home.

“Are you alright?” he asks, voice rough and feeble, and Adam laughs in disbelief, a grin spreading across his face and making Shiro’s heart flutter wildly.

“Am  _ I- _ god, I hate you. How are you still so  _ stupid _ ?” Adam scoffs, shaking his head as he cradles Shiro’s face in his hands, too, the touch sending a surge of electricity through every cell in Shiro’s body, numbing the pain as it goes.

Shiro’s smile grows, his thumb sweeping over Adam’s cheek. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he says dryly, making Adam scoff fondly once more, before his smile fades as he looks Shiro over.

“Are  _ you _ alright?” His brows are furrowed in concern, lips pulled down into a frown, and Shiro hates it, wants his smile back.

He shrugs- though the movement sends a jolt of pain through him- feigning casualness. “I’ve had worse,” he jokes, and he’s rewarded for his efforts, Adam’s lips quirking back into that fond, exasperated smile Shiro’s missed so dearly.

“Shut up,” Adam mutters, before leaning down, suddenly, and pressing his lips to Shiro’s. It catches Shiro off guard, makes his breath hitch sharply, caught around his heart which leaps into his throat. By the time the shock wanes, it’s over, Adam pulling away and turning to speak into the com and request for help, leaving Shiro staring up at him wide eyed, lips tingling, warmth spreading to the tips of his fingers, drowning out any semblance of pain along the way.

Adam turns back to him after a moment and chuckles at Shiro’s expression, reaching up to brush his hair back from his face, the small, affectionate gesture making Shiro’s heart squeeze almost painfully tight.

Maybe Shiro died in the explosion after all. Maybe this is heaven.


	7. Partners

There’s a light knock, dragging Shiro from sleep as his recovery room door slides open. He turns slightly, heart skipping a beat when he finds Adam approaching his bedside, lips still tingling from the ghost of Adam’s lips on his hours before.

Adam’s arms are crossed as he looks Shiro over. “I hope you know that that was immensely stupid, even for you.” The fondness behind the irritation is masked well, but Shiro can still see it, a small spark of softness behind Adam’s gaze. “Jumping in the way like some hero.”

Shiro huffs out a soft laugh, his eyes drifting closed for a moment. There’s a beat of silence. “I couldn’t lose you again,” he says, a soft confession, and when he looks back to Adam he’s surprised to find anger there, Adam’s jaw set.

He thought he had chosen carefully, but they were the wrong words.

“I was the one who lost you first, you know.” Adam’s tone is sharp with indignation, catching Shiro off guard, who stares up at him wide eyed. “Back at Kerberos, finding out only six months after he left that my fiancé had died from fucking _pilot error_ of all things, living that lie for _years_ . That was me, not you. You’re not the only one who has something to lose, who _has_ lost everything.”

Guilt squirms in Shiro’s gut, slithering its way up to his heart and coiling around it, constricting as Adam steps closer, anger flaring fiercer. “We used to be equals, Takashi, _partners_ , but now it’s like you have some grandiose idea that you have to face everything alone, that you have to protect everyone, including me, when we’re supposed to protect _each other_ , rely on _each other._  Isn’t that the promise you made, when you asked me to marry you? That we would be partners for life?”

There’s pain there, now, mixing with the anger, making Adam’s voice falter, making Shiro’s guilt squeeze tighter. He feels so, so stupid.

He stares up at him, licking his lips, endlessly searching for those perfect words that are never there. “I’ve already put you through so much, with my illness and Kerberos and the war. You’ve lost so much, Adam. I can’t bear the thought of you losing any more because of me. I’m sorry.” His voice is small, ashamed.

The anger in Adam’s eye dwindles. He looks tired, now, so much more older than he should at his age as he sinks into the chair at Shiro’s bedside. He sighs heavily, leaning forward and shaking his head. “Takashi, you’re the only thing I have left _to_ lose. Don’t you know that?”

He reaches for Shiro’s hand, his touch warm as always, lips slightly quirked with a small, fond smile. “Not everything is your fault, Takashi. Not every bad thing that happens to you is because of you.” He smile grows as he gives Shiro’s hand a soft squeeze. “You just have really shitty luck.” Shiro laughs at that, turning back to the ceiling and shaking his head.

They’re quiet for a long moment, the soft humming of machinery filling the silence.

“Would you let me make that promise again?”

He turns to find Adam’s brow furrowed in confusion as he frowns in that way that Shiro has always found so adorable.

He wonders if Adam can hear his heart pounding as he shifts to sit up- his sore muscles protesting at the movement- and unhooks the thin gold chain from around his neck, his first time doing so since he put it on years ago. He lifts it carefully, sliding the ring he keeps tucked away- close to his heart, always- into his palm, huffing out a soft, sheepish laugh at Adam’s wide eyed expression.

“Once the war is over, will you still marry me?” Nothing about it is perfect- the words, the setting, the circumstances- but Shiro couldn’t care less about perfection, doesn’t care that his hands are shaking a bit as he reaches for Adam’s again, placing the ring in his palm. “I know I have no right to ask any more of you, but I want to keep my promise. No matter what happens, no matter how many days we have left, I want my last one to be with you by my side. My life partner.”

Tears well up in Adam’s eyes as he huffs out a soft laugh, fingers closing around the ring. He’s quiet for a moment, making Shiro’s heart race with anticipation. “This isn’t gonna fit me, you know,” he says, and Shiro’s heart nearly bursts.

He laughs softly, too, tears in his eyes mirroring Adam’s as he shakes his head. “I will happily find you one that does.”

Adam hums, slipping the ring back into Shiro’s palm before reaching back to lift a small chain around his own neck- one Shiro has never noticed before- revealing a beaten, worn golden ring, identical to Shiro’s, dangling at the end. “It’s okay, I’ve got it covered,” he says, and Shiro nearly falls out of the bed with how fast he moves, reaching for Adam’s face and tugging him closer as he ducks down to crash their lips together, heart feeling fuller than it has in years.

Even after he pulls away what feels like lifetimes later, he holds Adam tightly, refusing to let go, leaning their foreheads together, their breaths labored from the kiss, Shiro’s eyes still closed as he hangs onto this moment, carves every sensation of it into his memory. “I have never once stopped loving you. Not for a single instant.”

For once, the words are perfect, Adam’s smile- stretching under Shiro’s palms as he laughs breathlessly- perfect, too.

“I know.”


	8. Epilogue

For some reason, he’s scared.

Shiro stands at the doors, the only obstacle between him and the moment he’s fought so hard for, the moment he some days thought with a crushing, sinking feeling that would never come, and it’s here, right in front of him, right within his grasp, and yet he stands frozen, hands trembling, too afraid to reach out.

“Shiro?” The concern in Keith’s tone makes Shiro turn. He licks his lips, words of reassurance feeling out of reach, too, but apparently he doesn’t need them as Keith smiles softly. “What are you so afraid of? What, you can end an intergalactic war but you can’t do  _ this _ ? Your whole life has been leading up to this, Shiro. You’ve wanted this more than you’ve wanted anything.”

Shiro huffs out a quiet laugh, looking back to the beautifully carved doors in front of him. “Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of.”

“Hey,” Keith’s voice is even softer, now, his touch gentle as he puts a hand on Shiro’s shoulder. “I’ve told you before, you deserve good things.” He gives Shiro’s shoulder a squeeze before playfully shoving at it. “Not to mention Adam’s gonna kill you if you keep him waiting any longer.”

The sound of his name brings Adam to the forefront of Shiro’s mind- his soft smile, the sound of his laugh- easing some of the tightness in Shiro’s chest. Shiro laughs again, the sound more genuine this time, and he looks to Keith with a smile. “Good point,” he says, before taking a breath and pushing open the doors.

The room seems to melt away along with Shiro’s anxieties the moment his eyes fall on Adam, who looks more radiant than Shiro’s ever seen him standing at the end of the aisle beside Matt, white suit matching Shiro’s. As Keith predicted, Adam looks on the verge of murder for the delay, but his expression softens as his gaze lands on Shiro across the room, the immediate change making Shiro’s heart flutter as he smiles and makes his way towards him, Keith by his side.

“You’re never late for anything, and you decide to be late for our  _ wedding _ ?” Adam mumbles under his breath as Shiro takes his place in front of him and takes his hands, feigning annoyance, but his smile betrays his facade. 

“I was nervous,” Shiro says quietly with a slight shrug, earning him a small, disbelieving laugh, Adam’s smile widening as he shakes his head. 

“You’re unbelievable.” The familiar, exasperated fondness in his tone has giddiness bubbling in Shiro’s chest as he grins up at him, squeezing his hands. It hits, suddenly, that they’ve finally made it, that they’re  _ here _ , where they were always meant to be.

The officiant continues on with her speech, but Shiro doesn’t catch a word of it, is too distracted by the happiness and love pouring from Adam’s smile, flooding Shiro’s heart until it’s overflowing, spreading warmth through every fiber of Shiro’s being, mixing with Shiro’s own joy surging through his veins. It’s almost overwhelming, how happy Shiro feels, how perfect the moment is.

He’s brought back to Earth as the officiant prompts him for his vows, and he breaks from Adam’s gaze for a moment to look down at their hands- skin meeting skin and tech meeting tech, two pieces of the same puzzle.

“Adam.” He looks back to him, smile softening along with his tone. “My love.” Adam laughs softly, a bit shyly, the sound making Shiro’s heart flutter and squeeze tight, the urge to kiss him crashing over him as it always does when Adam laughs like that, but he pushes it aside as he continues. 

“It goes without saying that we’ve both been through so much. Everything we’ve faced, we’ve faced together, whether that be spending hours in your backyard under the freezing night sky learning constellations as kids, having endless study sessions at the Garrison, or grading countless horrible cadet papers-” Adam laughs, along with the rest of their loved ones, Lance’s laugh particularly loud at that” -we’ve always gotten through every challenge together, as partners.”

Shiro looks away once more, the phantom of the heavy guilt he’d carried around in his chest for so long sending a small pang through his heart. “For a long time, I’d forgotten that. When I was diagnosed with my illness, when I left for Kerberos, when I saw how much you’d gone through when I was gone, I felt like everything you’d gone through, you had gone through because of me, and it killed me to think I had put you through pain like that. I could accept my own pain, but the thought of yours tore me apart. I couldn’t forgive myself.” 

He squeezes Adam’s hands and looks back up to him, offering a smile to offset the frown pulling at Adam’s lips, his brow furrowed as he squeezes Shiro’s hands back. Shiro can practically feel the pang in Adam’s chest, too. “But then you saved me, as you always do,” he says, smile widening. “You reminded me that everything you had gone through, you didn’t go through because of me, you went through those things  _ with  _ me, as my partner, my soulmate. No matter how many galaxies were between us, we were still facing challenges together, somehow knowing deep down that every challenge was another step bringing us together again. I wasn’t alone in my pain, and you weren’t alone in yours. We were enduring it together, even though we didn’t know it at the time. We were still together, in that way.”

A lump starts to form in his throat, but he fights it down, powers on, squeezing Adam’s hands even more tightly, staring determinedly into Adam’s eyes as they well with tears. “Despite that, being away from you, not having my other half by my side, was the hardest challenge I’ve ever faced. It’s something I never want to experience again, something I don’t want  _ either _ of us to experience again.” He shakes his head, stroking his thumbs over the back of Adam’s palms. “So today is my promise to you, that I will forever remain by your side, and it’s a promise to myself, too, that I will live my dream of spending my life with you, the love of my life.”

The officiant prompts Adam next, who lets out a small, choked laugh, pulling a hand back for a moment to wipe the tears that had managed to slip free. “Dammit, I knew I shouldn’t have let you go first,” he laughs, Shiro and the crowd laughing with him. 

Adam clears his throat once he collects himself, his hand returning to Shiro’s. “Takashi,” he begins, the way his name rolls off Adam’s tongue making Shiro’s heart skip a beat as it always does. “You stole a lot of what I was gonna say, so, thanks for that.” He shoots him a playful glare, and Shiro laughs again, the need to kiss him overwhelming, now. 

Adam’s gaze falls to their hands as his smile softens. “The problem is, you’ve always been better at words than I am, and there’s not much I can say that you don’t already know.” He pauses for a moment, carefully choosing his next words, and Shiro waits patiently for him until Adam looks back to him. “You’re the most selfless person I’ve ever met, and I love that the most about you, but it also terrifies me to no end and frustrates me like nothing else.” 

He huffs out a soft laugh and shakes his head. “You don’t hesitate to sacrifice everything for others, you’ll put anyone’s wants and needs in front of your own, put your own life at risk if you have to, without a second thought, and it’s what made me fall in love with you, but I also hate it more than anything.”

He squeezes Shiro’s hands, his smile almost a bit sad as his tone grows softer. “All I want, all I’ve ever wanted, is for you to see how important you are, Takashi.”

The lump in Shiro’s throat chokes him, suddenly, that single sentence easily shattering his armor, allowing tears to break free and slip down his cheeks. He’s never been able to understand how Adam can break through so easily, can strip Shiro down to his most vulnerable self without even trying.

Before he knows it, Adam’s palms are cradling his face, tilting it up more to face him, his expression more determined now as he stares Shiro down, blocking out the rest of the room.

This is all that matters; just the two of them.

“You are so unbelievably important, Takashi, to everyone in this room, to people all across the universe. You are brave, and strong, and kind, and you inspire everyone you meet, especially me, and that’s saying something considering I’ve dealt with your cooking skills first hand.” 

He offers a smile as Shiro chokes on another laugh, reaching up to hold Adam’s wrists as his thumbs sweep over Shiro’s cheeks, catching a few more tears. “As much as it frustrates me how self-sacrificing you are, I know everything you do, you do out of love, and it’s my favorite thing about you. All you ever do is give. So I’m gonna make a promise to  _ you _ , now, that I’ll spend every day of our wonderful, boring, domestic married lives together making sure I give you just as much love as you put out into the universe, and reminding you how important you are, to everyone, but especially to me.”

Shiro tries to swallow down the lump in his throat to no avail, the need to kiss Adam unbearable, now, but he continues to wait, continues to hold onto him until the rings are brought forward by Allura- balancing them on a small pillow along with her space mice. Their rings practically sparkle in the light as Shiro and Adam slide them onto each other’s fingers with trembling hands, Shiro’s heart racing, and the officiant barely finishes telling them they may kiss before they both rush forward, finally closing the space between them as the crowd cheers.

Breathless laughter fills the space between them as they break apart, grinning widely as they continue to cling to each other, euphoria wrapping around them in a warm embrace.

“I love you so much, Takashi,” Adam sighs, for only Shiro to hear, and somehow Shiro’s grin widens even more as he steals another kiss, content to live in this moment for the rest of his days, Adam by his side.

“I know.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who supported me and this fic, but especially to my dear loves alyssa and v, who showered this project with more love and enthusiasm than I ever expected :( I dedicate this last chapter to the both of you
> 
> but mostly, this was for shiro, who deserves all the love and happiness in the world


End file.
